Sometimes in the midst of planning their wedding, impressionable couples can have a hard time telling the good ideas from the bad. Just because you’ve seen something done at another wedding doesn’t necessarily mean it’s okay to include it in yours. Ten tacky things to avoid are:

1. A dollar dances with the bride. I don’t care how many times you’ve seen this done, it’s never acceptable. And no, you shouldn’t have a “money tree” either.

2. A cash bar. These people are your guests; you cannot expect them to pay for your reception. You didn’t call them and ask them to pay for your wedding dress or bridal jewelry, did you? Kindly serve what you can afford. If that means beer and wine instead of French champagne, that’s perfectly fine. Or create a signature drink; it’s a very elegant way to avoid the expense of a full open bar.

3. Speaking of wedding dress, be extra careful with lace-up or corset backs. Unless they are made extremely well by an expert in corset construction, they just look tacky. Also beware of the danger of back fat being squashed through the laces – very unsightly, and can happen to just about anyone, no matter how skinny.

4. While we’re on the subject of bridal ensembles, let’s talk about accessories. Surely you want to be completely bejeweled on your wedding day, from hair to feet. However, remember to keep it tasteful and balance your bridal jewelry with your other accents. For example, if you’re wearing a large, opulent tiara, choose a dainty pendant instead of a three-inch-wide rhinestone choker to adorn your neck. You want them to use their accessories, not them to use you!

5. For the gentlemen: Don’t try to get too creative with your black tie. A vest or cummerbund in a color that matches the bridesmaids’ dresses is fine, but one covered in cartoon characters is over the top. And need I mention that a tuxedo print t-shirt is scary, not smart?

6. This one is for the guests: The invitation is only for those to whom it was addressed. That means you can’t bring your kids or cousin to visit over the weekend, unless they’ve been specifically invited.

7. Abuse of bridesmaids. Remember that your bridesmaids are not indentured maids. Being close friends with the bride, they are likely to volunteer to help her shop for the dress, put together the favors, etc., but a bride should not demand that during the year leading up to her wedding, these women spend every spare minute to prepare for your wedding. . You also can’t make unreasonable demands regarding your friends’ appearance. If you liked yourself enough to invite her to be at your wedding in the first place, you should like her enough to let her be herself at the wedding.

8. Include registration information with the wedding invitation. Putting details about a wedding registry on the invitation makes it sound like the guest must bring a gift to be admitted to the reception. While most guests will probably be happy to give the newlyweds a gift to help them start their new life together, it’s not required.

9. And while we’re on the subject of gifts, here’s one of the ugliest things of all: not sending thank you notes for every single gift. Handwritten notes, not some generic pre-printed stuff left on reception tables, and for God’s sake, no emails! There is a common misconception that a couple has a year after the wedding to send thank you notes. This is incorrect: the year is the period of time during which it would be considered appropriate for a guest to send a wedding gift. The easiest way to handle thank you notes is to write them within a week of receiving the gift. That way, the excitement of opening the package is still fresh in your mind, and it’s much easier to be honest.

10. This last one is also for the guests: don’t make fun of whether the bride is “pure” enough to wear white!