I think one of the hardest things for parents of children with hyperactive / impulsive ADHD (ADHD-HI) to learn is to take the things these kids tell them, no matter how hurtful, with a pound of salt. One of the hallmarks of ADHD-HI is impulsive speech. These children often blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Tantrums can be a daily occurrence in the home of children with ADHD. Hyperactive / impulsive children are often more prone to negative impulsive thoughts and emotions that often result in frustration, anger, and despair. It can be very disturbing to a home when the first thing that comes to mind is really dark, really angry, and really vindictive. Many hyperactive / impulsive children cannot control these ‘home busting’ thoughts and tantrums are out of their control as well. These children often feel so out of control and frustrated that they find it impossible to shake off the constant irritability they live with.

It is almost as if they have this terrible thing stuck in their brain, a crown of thorns, full of negative thoughts, sadness, anger, despair. They say that they hate you, that you are the worst father in the world and that they wish you were dead, when what they really mean is;

“Mommy, the pain in my head is excruciating. I’m so sad, so frustrated, and so angry that I can’t control the things I say. I’m doing the best I can, Mommy, so how can this be my fault? Help me Mommy , I am a child and children should not have to endure a brain so out of control and so difficult. “

ADHD medications can often control much of the irritability and impulsivity that these negative thoughts cause, but there is a tool for parents that is perhaps more important. As parents, we must learn to listen to the above words instead of the words that the hyperactive / impulsive child yells at them when they are in the middle of a tantrum. This skill takes practice and patience, but I believe that if a parent can master it, they may be giving their child an ADHD treatment that is more effective and more valuable than money can buy.