Americans love cosmetics. According to MSN.com, we spend an average of $ 7 billion a year on beauty products. We use shampoos to make our hair appear thicker, bronzer to make us look tanned, and creams to help us look younger. However, there is nothing on the shelf to heal a broken heart.
February can be a difficult month for people who have recently lost a love. There is help for the heartbroken, although this balm cannot be found at the corner drugstore. If you’re working through a breakup, divorce, or the death of a spouse / partner, soak in these three balm jars to heal your broken heart: “Recovery Work,” “Celebration of Love,” and “Your Cheeky Self.” “
Step one rough and scruffy
Any good skincare treatment begins with exfoliation, and your Recovery Work bottle contains vital exfoliation ingredients: pain, time, self-discovery, and expert advice. When we rub our faces, it can be irritating and uncomfortable. The same is true when we shed old emotional scars: it can hurt, but we need to prepare for the next phase of our lives.
To begin this step, we first mourn our loss. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identifies the five stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Don’t skimp during this process or minimize your pain. In her book, “Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love,” Helen Fisher argues that our impulse to love is stronger than our sexual impulses. When love ends, we can feel physical pain.
Coach Amelie Chance says this physical pain can be a tight chest, a nervous stomach, or insomnia. It is advisable not to rule out these symptoms. If they persist, talk to your doctor.
Recognize and work through the emotional stages of denial (This can’t be happening to me), angerI’m so mad at that BLANK for leaving me, could I …), negotiateIf I could be slimmer / richer / prettier / prettier I bet I could get it back) and depressionI don’t feel like doing anything, I’m so heartbroken by this breakup). Eventually, following these steps leads to acceptance.
While grieving, you will encounter self-discovery. It can not be helped. In fact, it should be encouraged and celebrated! Allow yourself to learn where you made mistakes so you don’t carry them into a new relationship. Recognize the new strength you have cultivated as a caregiver for your spouse / partner. Dare to dream what your life would be like without your former lover in it.
Tools such as the journal can be used to aid in a stay of self-discovery. Prayer or meditation, even therapy or training, can also be helpful.
But don’t forget about the other ingredient here: time. Experts estimate that it takes one year to recover for every five years in a relationship. It is important to note that we should not use a time frame to recover from lost love. Each individual is unique and will suffer their grief in their own way and in their own time. However, use the 1 to 5 ratio as more of a guide so you understand that this work should not be rushed. Likewise, if you’ve been stuck in one or more of the stages of grief for a long time, you may need to seek the help of a professional to help you move on.
Once accepted, you can apply the balm from the next bottle, “Celebration of Love.”
Relaxing step two
It is often said that we cannot find love if we cannot love ourselves, and there is a lot of truth to that, the celebration of love begins with remembering the wonderful things about you and honoring those qualities by setting aside time for self-care. Do an activity that brings you happiness. Take a relaxing bath while listening to beautiful music. Enjoy a nap or enjoy your favorite food. Honor the time you have for yourself.
Love was not created to simply share between romantic partners. While that may be one of the most joyous aspects of being human, love reaches its full potential when shared with everyone in our lives, so on this holiday, give yourself and spread the love!
The unique aspect of this recovery balm is that it is meant to be shared. We are surrounded by loving people: our family and friends. Spend your time and attention with family and friends so that you can express how important they are in your life. Put aside your “to-do list” for the day and visit the people who are important to you, or give them a call to let them know you love them.
Pets add so much to our lives, so why not give more time or do something nice for your animal companion? They wait for us with great patience, give us unconditional love and acceptance when we are ready, and ask so little in return.
Take some time and make your pet a special treat, take it for a long walk or just snuggle up on the couch as you remember how lucky you are to have such a friend in your life.
Reach out by showing love to an animal that is waiting for your family forever. If you can, consider adopting a shelter dog or cat. Maybe (like me) you have a full house and that is not possible. You can volunteer some of your time at a rescue center to walk dogs, play with kittens, or simply pet the animals. The afternoon you spend can help bring the animal closer to finding its guardian.
Revitalizing step three
Once you’ve done the scruffy work of recovery and celebrated the love you have in your life, treat yourself to the final balm, Your Sassy Self. This revitalizing regiment will lead to a renewal in your life. It works miracles, and that’s not an empty sales pitch!
Similar to the first ingredient in the Love Celebration jar, loving yourself, Your Sassy Self delves into your essence and spirit. The key ingredients in this balm are forgiveness, spiritual connections, and the discovery of your gifts.
First, apply forgiveness where it is needed, either to a person who hurt you or to yourself for any deficiencies. Your Sassy Self Healing Balm does not skimp on forgiveness because without it, it is impossible to move on with your life.
Forgiveness also allows you to make deeper spiritual connections. When we hold a grudge, the ability to seek our Creator is deformed. Forgiveness breaks down those walls. We were made to be connected to a Higher Power / Creator / God, however you view this deity. When we don’t communicate spiritually, there is a void in our lives that we try to fill with the wrong things like greed, lust, power, envy, the list goes on. Searching for greater truth and meaning in our lives is an invigorating journey that can be made like no other.
Remember that we were created with a spark of divinity and a purpose. Our Creator wants us to identify and use the talents that have been gifted to us, which not only leads us to a fulfilling life, but also helps improve our part of the world. I love Saint Peter’s message that everyone has at least one gift and that we should use it to serve others. The gifts (talents) are what illuminate you; these are your passions. Do you like to share knowledge or manage the lost? Then teach! Do you have great compassion for the sick? Then treat them! If you are comfortable being a leader, then manage. Lavishly apply Your Sassy Self and watch the renewal take place in your life.
Recovery from a broken heart doesn’t happen overnight. There is no magic pill. But if you are willing to do the work of recovery, risk loving others and surrendering yourself, as well as seeking deeper truths in a spiritual quest, your heart will not only heal, it will overflow with grace and love. Who wouldn’t be attracted to that?
