Relationships are unique beasts. They usually take on a life of their own and progress at a rate that, hopefully, is in sync with what both the woman and the man involved want. Sometimes the couple walk two separate ways with one heading towards something more serious, while the other seems content to casually date. Most of the time it is the woman who wants to secure a commitment to her boy. As women we understand this, since we recognize how rare it is to find a man who satisfies us in every way. Other than giving your guy an ultimatum, is there any other way to make him be more serious with you? You may think not, but there are actually a number of very simple, yet incredibly effective steps that you can take to show yourself why you are the woman you should dedicate your heart and life to.
Make the relationship fun and as drama-free as possible
It wouldn’t surprise you at all if I said that women tend to be more dramatic than men when it comes to relationships, right? We all know it to be true. As women, we often seem to run into issues that are waiting to be addressed. We raised them with the man we adore and before we know it they have taken on a life of their own and an argument ensues. For men, this really doesn’t make sense or reason. All they want to do is have an emotionally satisfying, fun, and easy relationship. Men don’t want to be in a relationship that requires a lot of work. They are not attracted to it at all.
That is why it is essential that you keep the drama, within your relationship, to a minimum. There are many benefits to overlooking the little things. I know it can be upsetting to be with a man who sometimes looks like a pretty girl passing by and it can be heartbreaking if he doesn’t always remember your birthday or other important events. You need to assess how important those things are to you versus how satisfying it is when the relationship is in a good, peaceful, and loving place. As difficult as it may be, overlooking small, inconsequential things can help a man grow closer to you because he will see you as someone who doesn’t take life too seriously.
Don’t keep talking about the future
It’s incredibly hard not to focus on where you want the relationship to go when you feel like it’s the “ideal” connection for you. As a woman, you likely enjoy planning things and your future definitely falls into that category. If you mention taking the relationship to the next level before your guy is ready to listen, an invisible emotional barrier will be raised and he will fight you to take things to a more serious place. A man who is not sure he wants to commit can become very protective of his space and time.
If you act like you don’t care in any way if the relationship ends in a more committed place, he will find you incredibly charming and intriguing. Men are used to dealing with women who pursue the dream of a wedding and a future that is committed and happily ever after. They know that sooner or later, if the two of you get along, the inevitable conversation about how many children you want or what style of home you want to live in is on the not-too-distant horizon. Surprise him by keeping quiet on any engagement-related topic. If you can do that, he will wonder, sooner rather than later, why you are not eager for him to take the relationship to a more serious place.
Don’t lose focus on your own goals
A major mistake women make when trying to build a strong and lasting connection with a man is that they begin to sacrifice their own life in favor of his. If you start giving up your own interests, your own career goals, or your friends for a man, he will find you much less interesting. He doesn’t want you to lay down your life for him. First, it shows that you don’t value yourself as an important, valuable, and successful human being. You are willing to change what you want for a man. Any man who finds out that he is not worth having a relationship with, because he will take your behavior as a sign that you want to be controlled.
Also, if you start giving up the things you enjoy to have more time with your guy, it makes him feel like he has to fill up all that empty space. In other words, if you repeatedly cancel plans with friends or rearrange your work schedule to accommodate him, he will feel responsible for your time and happiness. That is a heavy burden for any man in a growing relationship. You don’t want that to happen.
Show your man that you are not willing to sacrifice the woman you are for him. It is important that you understand that you have to fit into the life you already have. If he feels, even for a moment, that you are becoming dependent on him for your happiness or that you have to be there to occupy his time, he will start to feel pressure or resentment and eventually the relationship will probably fail.
