You’ve seen him dodge bullets, you’ve seen him bring the bad guys to justice, and you’ve even seen him blend effortlessly with the rich and beautiful. Whether he’s the action hero of Mission Impossible or the reserved Jack Reacher, one thing’s for sure: Tom Cruise has enough self-confidence to light up a town.

However, don’t be fooled by appearances. It’s easy to watch movies and get the wrong idea of ​​what self-confidence really is. You may have the wrong impression and demand too much of yourself, you may think that you must be very confident in all situations and all the time or you are failing, failing badly. But that would not be true. You can be sure that Tom Cruise doubts himself sometimes, just like the rest of us, he just never finds out.

Confidence ebbs and flows like any other feeling, and that’s it, a feeling, a feeling that “yes, I can do it.” And it doesn’t take much to undermine your self-confidence. If you have a few days with very little sleep and not enough good nutrition, you will become physically and emotionally less capable. You will be weaker, you will not have as much confidence. And for good reason, you’ll have less of a sense of being able to do what needs to be done. In other words, you will have less confidence in yourself.

Of course, this never seems to happen to Tom Cruise. He can enjoy high-speed car chases, stay up all night chasing down criminals, and still exude that laid-back charisma that makes the leading lady smile. Unfortunately, that’s not real life and it’s not a good standard against which to test his self-confidence.

What can you do to enjoy more self-confidence?

Take good care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs every day, and you’ll have a solid foundation from which to express your natural self-confidence. Eat foods that give you energy and avoid those that weaken your body, get the rest and recovery you need, and spend time with people who love and support you. Do all of this consistently and you will be in the best possible condition to say yes to life, say yes to new challenges, and persist and succeed where others give up.

These same principles apply to having more trust with people. You may know what to say to people and you may even know how to approach strangers and get people to talk, but none of that will work very well if you’re having a bad day. If you are worried about urgent problems, tired, hungry or feeling unsupported, all these problems will affect your trust with people. And if this happens, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just look at what happened, and more importantly, how you got into that bad state of mind. Only then can you identify what changes you need to make.

For example, in the last few days I was drinking too much coffee, spending too much time on the computer, and forgetting to eat at meals. And, this is fine for a day, but this went on for a few days. The next thing I know I’m meeting people and my mind goes blank, I’m not sure what to say and I can’t be bothered to make small talk. Because? Because I undermined my self-confidence by weakening my body. I became less capable because I got tired. Then, then I realized, oh yeah, I’m out of balance. Time to exercise more, establish a better meal routine, and spend less time staring at the computer.

Then trust starts flowing again. I feel energetic, happy and connected to people, I enjoy meeting people again and everything starts to click.

So my point is that confidence needs fuel, and you provide that fuel by taking good care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs. As you get stronger, you will feel capable of achieving more, that is, you will have more confidence. So naturally you start to stretch beyond your comfort zone, you’re on a roll, and before you know it, you might start to feel like Tom Cruise!