Children misbehave for a reason and once we understand what that reason is, we are that much closer to finding a solution to deal with it. Here is a list of some of the most common reasons children misbehave:
1. CAUTION
Everyone has a basic need to be noticed. If kids feel like they’re not being noticed, they’ll find a way to get our attention, and acting out is usually the easiest way. Negative attention is better than none. If we’re going about our day, doing our own thing, and suddenly notice that our child is off limits in some way, we stop what we’re doing and try to get him to stop. It worked. They caught our attention.
2. NEED FOR POWER OR CONTROL
Apart from attention, we also have a basic need to feel that we have power and control in our lives. If we don’t feel like we have it, we look for ways to get it. Children will say “no” just to take control or do the opposite of what we’ve asked them to do, for the same reason. They will argue with us. They will enter into a power struggle. If they feel like their day is being completely orchestrated by someone else, they will find a way to regain some control.
3. UNCLEAR LIMITS
If children don’t know how far they can go or if the rules are vague and inconsistent, many will test to find out exactly where the limits are. There’s a conversation in his head that goes something like this: “I wonder if I do this, I’ll get in trouble” or “Last time I did this, no one said anything. I think I’ll try again.” and see what happens” or “I’m not sure what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m going to find out for myself.”
4. ANGER AND HOSTILITY AT HOME
Children are extremely sensitive to everything that happens around them. If parents continually fight in front of their children or if the tension is so intense that everyone can feel it, all those feelings are transmitted. They will also notice if we are distracted by something that bothers us. It makes children feel insecure and fearful. Those feelings translate into anger. Their hostile behavior may be a direct reflection of what they are learning at home.
5. PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT
Young children misbehave when they are tired or hungry. Many older children will, too, but are better able to recognize the cues. It is very easy to overstimulate a young child by doing too many activities in one day. They can go into a state of arousal overload that makes most people, including children, feel irritable. Some can handle more activities than others, so it’s important to know your child’s threshold.
