As we all know, communication is absolutely vital and critical to our success in life. If we are not communicating our
message, if we’re not speaking out loud about what’s inside of us, we’re not sharing who we really are with other people, and that can leave us feeling frustrated and alone.
The funny thing is that most of us think that we are amazing communicators. I can’t tell you how many successful, well-educated adults have told me they know how to communicate. Most people think so.
The reality is,
to be really GOOD at something,
you have to study it.
The same applies to communication. You have to really look at the effective and ineffective ways to get your message across. There are ways to positively communicate our thoughts and ideas to the people we love so that our concerns really get the attention they deserve.
You’d be surprised how easy it is to avoid the pitfalls and frustrations that arise from miscommunication, lack of communication, or just BAD communication.
What’s even more amazing to me is…
…how the story of Queen Esther continues to apply to today’s issues. If you really study her behavior, you can determine from her struggle just how good a communicator she was.
Queen Esther’s Top 7 Communication Secrets
Secret #1 – Position yourself.
In the book of Esther, we can read the passage: “Esther dressed in her royal garments and stood in the inner court of the palace in front of the king’s room.” Just to give you some context, this is when Esther is about to go and communicate something to the king. She positions herself very well.
We don’t see Esther running around in rags with her hair flying everywhere, screaming.
It is not frantic, it is not authoritarian. She has put on her royal garments, literally, and I think for us we want to put on our own metaphorical royal garments. When we have something to express, in a work environment, a marriage, etc., it is important to present your thoughts calmly, and that comes from within. That comes from believing in what you have to say, from owning it.
Secret #2 – Set your intention.
Most people just talk without thinking. Sometimes we eat without thinking, or sometimes we even drive without thinking. Have you ever driven somewhere and thought, “how did I get here?”
Esther had a clear intention when she spoke to the King. She had one thing to accomplish. You can feel how strongly she knew what she had to do. She knew that she risked death by asking the King for something, and because her intention was so powerful, she was able to do it.
Consider that if you want to create something different in your world this week, if you set a powerful intention, you can even change the course of what would normally happen. What would normally have happened for a queen to appear before the king without being summoned is that she would be killed. But Esther had no such intention.
He intended to go and deliver a message. Ask yourself, what is your intention when you speak? Is it your intention to get people’s approval? Is your intention to want to punish someone? Is your intention to hide and be defensive? Is your intention to express love? Be very clear about your intention.
Secret #3 – Male or Female Communication?
This is not about gender. It’s about knowing when to use your feminine energy and when to use your masculine energy. Esther used her masculine energy when she was giving orders, giving ultimatums.
You communicate with your masculine energy when you are in a leadership position. Female communication is more about being receptive. It’s about BEING, not DOING. It is about reacting to masculine energy in an attractive way; It is about remembering that you are a powerful woman and that sometimes the subtleties of your actions, your sweetness, communicates more clearly than your words.
So make sure you communicate like the Queen that you are this week. Know that she has a voice and it is meant to be heard!
© 2007 Gina Ratliffe
