There are multiple traits, characteristics, abilities and skills that you must develop to discover your leadership. There are many ways to approach this growth process. But whatever method you use, you need to take care of yourself first. In other words, you must lead yourself before you lead others.
How do you manage yourself? Well, the most sensible way to get on the right track is to ‘get your house in order’. Just feel good about yourself. Feel confident in your abilities. Convince yourself that you have the ability to lead and that you should be a leader. Only with self-confidence will you be able to provide a foundation for your followers. Leaders are supposed to provide stability for followers; perhaps a stability that those followers do not have. Many count on their leaders to provide that foundation that they have not been able to create for themselves. So if the leader doesn’t have that solid foundation, it’s impossible to pass it on to anyone else. Maybe you are a good actor and you attract a following at first, making people believe that you are confident in yourself. But that foundationless building will soon collapse.
The rest of this post will focus on a few tactics you should put into practice if you want to be confident in yourself:
* Set a goal or purpose: If you don’t know what you want, you will never have confidence in yourself. Self-confidence is about believing that you are capable of achieving something. But you have to know what that something is. If you don’t, then you have nothing to be sure of! First outline a strong purpose, a ‘North Star’ that you can look towards to see where you are going. This can be as simple (but supremely important) as raising a loving family or as complex as changing the way the world communicates. However, it must have some specificity, so that you can direct your energy and efforts. Bill Gates not only said “My goal is to change the world”, but “I want every home to have a personal computer”. That certainly changed the world, but in a much more specific way.
* Be prepared: simply, you must know what you are talking about. Knowing that you dominate your area will give you the feeling that you have the power to speak with authority on anything that involves your sphere of influence. Now, I’m not saying that you can learn everything there is to know, as you should always strive to know more than the day before. But if you get to a point where you can reasonably say that you’re more proficient in your field than most people, you’ll have a right to consider yourself an authority. You have the right to be sure that everything you say is correct. Now that’s self-confidence!
* Practice: you have multiple spheres of influence. You influence your family, your classmates, your coworkers, your students, your mentors, your bosses, and even complete strangers you meet on the street. In other words, you have plenty of opportunities to develop your leadership skills. Practice cheering on a coworker. Proposes a cost reduction process at work. Get involved in clubs and slogan initiatives. Take advantage of all those opportunities and use them to consciously practice being a leader.
* Achieve small victories: Some time ago I started a short-term sports tournament business. It failed disastrously. But I learned many lessons from that ‘failure’, if you can call it that. One that will especially stick with me is the impact small wins can have on my confidence levels. A core part of the business depended on raising sponsorship funds to cover costs. It’s definitely not an easy task, but when I got my first $50 together, I felt like I was able to find $100, and so on. That company later ‘failed’, but I have nothing to be ashamed of if only because I learned this lesson.
* Talk to yourself: I once thought I was crazy because I was talking to myself. I had these crazy pep talks while he was alone in the car or in the shower. But then I found out that many positive and confident people do this. It’s a great way to encourage a positive attitude. I feel like after having a solo pep talk, that ‘fake’ or ‘built up’ confidence continues on the street. It goes without saying that this should be a positive talk, not a negative one. It works either way.
* Act as a confidant: A variation on ‘solo pep talk’ is to act as a confidant. It is proven that physical actions and emotions go hand in hand. It was commonly believed that actions always follow emotions. But it is now accepted that your physical actions have an effect on your emotional state. If you feel sad, smile. It may feel weird at first, but that simple act can put you on the path to a more positive attitude. In the same way, if you feel insecure about yourself, act like you are confident. Stand up, throw your shoulders back, smile, and speak with authority. You can start to feel truly confident in yourself in a while. Now, this tactic shouldn’t be used on its own, but when you don’t have any more time to prepare or practice, it’s all you can do. And works.
* TRUST YOURSELF: If you have done everything I described, there is absolutely no reason to feel bad about yourself. Just let go of all the mental barriers and continue with your mission!
By now, the importance of self-confidence should be obvious. Do you want to project confidentiality? Do you want to gain loyal followers? So you should start by gaining confidence in yourself. You must lead yourself so that you can lead others.
