Francis Ford Coppola’s popular films The Godfather Parts I and II aired on AMC on Thanksgiving. The films are based on the Mario Puzo novel titled The Godfather. I have seen it countless times. But, this time I took notes. The Godfather, Vito Corleone was a mobster. But he was also a shrewd businessman. He owned Genco Imports and transported goods from New York to destinations like Havana, Canada and Nevada.

Here are some of the business lessons I learned from the movie:

1. Build relationships

When a colleague asked for a favor from the Godfather, his response was: “I can’t remember the last time you invited me for coffee…you never wanted my friendship…now you come to me for justice.” Criminal element aside, what I learned from this is the importance of staying in touch, developing friendships, sharing, and giving “before” you need a favor. People help those they like, know, and trust. People buy from those they like, know and trust.

2. Stay flexible

The Godfather went on to say, as friends, your enemies become our enemies and you become feared. Well, in business, enemies could be perceived as competitors. Your friends can help you position yourself where your competition fears you. However, today with increasing collaboration, we can be competitors one day and partners the next.

This happened to the Godfather in another scene when he needed to keep the peace and needed to team up with a rival. So the lesson here is to stay flexible.

3. Make all inquiries

Before the Godfather met with his rival, he told his son Michael, “I want all the inquiries made.” We call that gathering intelligence. It’s best to team up with channel partners who are in your industry, but offer different services and products. So when you decide to team up with a competitor, it’s best to ask questions and gather as much information about your competition as possible.

4. Make them an offer they can’t refuse.

When the Godfather’s godson asked for help getting a movie studio to agree to give him a role in the film, the Godfather told him he would help. When the Godfather said that he would help, the godson asked how. The Godfather said he was going to make them an offer they couldn’t refuse.

Again, criminal element aside, when negotiating deals, you need to make them an offer they can’t refuse. Don’t waste your time or the other party’s.

I finished law school in 1994. I invested in books on negotiation. One I keep on my shelf is Tim Hindle’s Negotiating Skills. Tim advised presenting his proposal with as little emotion as possible. Another book I have saved over the years is Neil Shister’s 10 Minute Guide to Trading. Neil advised that “it is to your advantage to present a higher authority from which you must seek approval to finalize the negotiation.”

The Godfather senses that his pseudo-adopted son, the conciliator, is leaving for California to handle the negotiations. As Tim Hindle advised, this guy was cool, calm and collected. He was fluid and confident. He never lost his temper. He was always complimentary and polite. The conciliator also used Neil Shister’s tactic of presenting a higher authority. He later revealed that he was the Godfather.

The conciliator was prepared to share the “what’s in it for them.” The Godfather peacemaker told the film executive that they could deal with the unions for him and help him in other ways.

I teach government contracting for the Georgia Tech Procurement Assistance Center (GTPAC) and we teach business owners to focus on building relationships and helping the customer and the sale will follow. The key is to meet the prospect face-to-face and be prepared with a proposition of what’s in it for them.

5. You can do something about it

When the godson told the Godfather about the movie deal, the godson was upset and said there was nothing he could do to change the studio executive’s mind. The godfather told the godson that he could do something about it. To do so was to be a man.

This reminded me of a friend of mine who is an extremely negative pessimist. I can not stand it. I know I can’t change it. I can only control my reaction. At some point, I may need to distance myself from the negativity. But, this guy always says, “no, it can’t be done… nothing can be done about it.” Like the Godfather, I believe that where there is a will, there is a way. Go around, go over or under obstacles.

6. Never tell anyone outside the family what you are thinking.

I love this. Whether you work in a government agency, a corporation, or have your own business, there must be loyalty. Work teams work best when they function as a family unit. The strategic thoughts of leadership must remain within the family. Communication outside the family needs to be controlled.

7. Tell them what you want

I won a year of free entrepreneurship training in 2008 when I won a Sam Walton Emerging Entrepreneur Award. One of the lessons I was taught was getting into the habit of saying “I want” this and that when I want to do something and need to give instructions to others. This is a great leadership skill.

Well, I noticed that the Godfather used this technique. Here are some examples of “I want” statements from Godparents:

– “I do not want acts of revenge.”

– “I want you to organize a meeting with the five families. This war ends now.”

– “I want all the inquiries to be made.”

As a child, I was taught to ask, “Can I have?” Well, in business it’s “I want to.”

8. You lose your political connections, you lose half your force

You know, I’ve never been a political person. As a child growing up in Chicago, my mother was an advocate of helping the local councilwoman. We were good citizens and we helped. As a city planner, I assisted mayors, aldermen, and members of the county commissioners. I never had money to donate to campaigns. But I have watched over the years how people with political connections have stronger organizations than those without. So there may be some merit to this.

9. Never side with anyone against the family.

This lesson is similar to #6 in that whether you work for a government agency, a corporation, or own your own business, there must be loyalty.

10. Women entrepreneurs cannot be neglected

I took creative liberty on this one. The Godfather actually made the male chauvinistic statement: “women and children can be sloppy, but men can’t.” Well, we can naively sweep that under the rug as a sign of his time. Alternatively, we can face the fact that the men who thought this way raised men to think this way, and therefore it is likely that this type of thinking still exists.

I am a lawyer, civil engineer, urban planner, certified public administrator, and business strategist. I have been in male dominated career paths for almost 30 years. So the lesson I took from the Godfather statement was that since men may think that, like children, women can be neglected, women need to counteract this stereotype. We cannot be careless and careless. This is especially true for women business owners. Much has been written about how women-owned businesses are less successful than male-owned businesses. Perhaps it is necessary to study the concept of carelessness. If levels of care could be measured, could it be proven that women entrepreneurs care less than men?