Lupita Nyong’o delivered a speech at an award ceremony that has circulated through social media and other modalities to reach many people around the world. This speech is often legended as being a “black beauty” speech. I think to label it as such is to miss the most important point that she was trying to make in that speech. The speech was clearly about finding inner beauty before appreciating the outer beauty of who you are. While her personal story surrounds her dark skin color, the point went much deeper.

While I may write more about this speech in the future, I wanted to focus on one statement that he made during this speech. He made reference to what he called “the seduction of Inadequacy”. For anyone struggling with inadequacy in their personal life, this statement should be somewhat jarring as it finds a place to settle beyond your ears and embeds itself somewhere in your subconscious. I know it had that effect on me.

The Seduction of Inadequacy addresses the temptation one may have to embrace inadequacy. We do this for several reasons. One is that it is easier to accept as a conclusion than simply as a statement of a present condition. Another is that one may be afraid of the truth behind this lie that we tell ourselves. And, of course, we may not want to do the work necessary to overcome the inadequacy or prove that it is, in fact, a lie.

I say that it can be easier to embrace a feeling of inadequacy because it doesn’t require more work on our part. As Robert Kiyosaki states in the book Rich Dad/Poor Dad, the poor tell themselves, when faced with a purchase beyond their means, that they cannot afford it. He said his rich dad taught him to ask the question, “how can I afford this?” The latter demands something from your subconscious and that is a further consideration. The first statement of I can’t afford it is a conclusion and requires no further reaction from your self-awareness.

Another reason to embrace inadequacy is that we are afraid of the truth. The truth may be that we have some real shortcomings in our lives. We’ll get to that shortly, but in some cases our shortcomings are a convenient crutch on which we find rest. For example, I tell a story of how I met a man who told me that he was not in his career choice because he did not have a college degree. When I told him that he was in that position without a title, I presented him with an uncomfortable truth. Suddenly, he at least had to consider that his lack of a title wasn’t the only reason he found himself in his current job far from where he said he really wanted to be.

Now, as stated above, we may have some real challenges that are keeping us from reaching the level of success that we desire. Insufficient money. There is not enough education. Raised in a single parent household. Being a minority. Being a woman (or man) depending on the enterprise. Some things we can’t do anything about, but we always have a choice whether or not to succumb to the seduction of inadequacy in our lives. In some cases we can overcome the shortcomings. One is to take a different point of view about it. What I mean by that is not to see it as an insufficiency that hinders us but simply as a challenge to overcome. Instead of saying what you don’t have, ask yourself how you can work with what you do have. You might also think about how you can circumvent the need for what you’re missing out on altogether.

This brings me to my last point, which is that sometimes we don’t want to do the work necessary to overcome the inadequacies in our lives. The necessary work could mean many things, but no matter what it costs, it is more work than simply accepting our shortcomings. One of the best examples I can think of is Muggsy Bogues, who played basketball in the NBA. He stands at 5’3″ and is listed as the shortest man to play basketball professionally in the NBA. While being tall is generally considered a requirement to play the sport at a high level, he was able to excel despite not only lacking that characteristic, but being the antithesis of it. From his skills, it’s clear that he was willing to put in the effort to be a great player. Not only that, he had to beat a lot of naysayers in the process.

Lupita Nyong’o recognized the seduction of inadequacy in her own life, and we have the job of doing the same in our respective lives. We can overcome any obstacle if we are willing to persevere. It will take a bit of effort and some imagination on our part, but it can be done. We may also need to change our perception of ourselves from that of a person who can’t do to that of a person who can. So don’t be seduced by your own insufficiencies, rather be seduced by your God-given ability to do what you have in your heart to do.

Let’s partner in your success.

kelly mariano