I waited my whole life for my soul mate. I always knew, somewhere deep inside of me, that the perfect match was out there somewhere, waiting for me as I was waiting for him. His absence had been conspicuous for as long as I could remember; It was always like I was missing a part.
In my youth (before my spiritual path led me in the direction of things like reincarnation and karma) I didn’t think in terms of a soul mate. I only knew that my “knight in shining armor” would be riding his white horse into my life one day, and he would bring with him everything he needed to be happy.
Fairy tales don’t come true and soulmates aren’t always what we thought they would be. Almost everyone agrees that the soulmate relationship is karmic, in which souls choose to share life experiences over and over again. The souls plan to come together to achieve specific spiritual learning goals in specific lifetimes, just as best friends on the physical plane might decide to take a pottery class together.
Note that I never said “soulmates come together in a specific lifetime to share the perfect romantic relationship.” Not all soulmate relationships are romantic in nature, and not all are harmonious. Sometimes souls plan to learn NOT to get along, in which case the relationship is usually short lived unless both souls are well versed in the lesson of acceptance.
For some, the terms “soulmate” and “twin flame” are interchangeable, but for me that is not the case. I think of a ‘soul mate’ as a learning partner, who agreed to meet me in this life so that we could learn and grow from our relationship. That learning relationship could be at any level; We could be friends, we could work together, we could be teacher and student, or a friend of a friend of a friend. It may take a single chance meeting to achieve what we wanted to achieve; it can take a lifetime of shared interaction. The connection between twin flames is so strong, on the other hand, that they literally cannot be happy unless they are in each other’s lives, which is a great karmic way of ensuring that the lessons they intended to share are actually shared. Life just doesn’t work out for either of you unless you learn to put your love, on whatever level you experience it, above all else.
We choose life as thinking and feeling human beings so that we can learn to express God’s love in the way we think and the way we feel. It is a lesson that takes hundreds, sometimes thousands, of lifetimes to learn. We can choose, between lives, to continue these lessons with the same souls with whom we have learned before. That is what constitutes “soul mates”.
It’s quite a tough row to hoe, when you think about joining with another soul life after life after life, trying to get the right ‘universal love’. Because we are thinking and feeling human beings, we have a tendency to let our ideas (or expectations), our feelings (regarding the current relationship or not), and our physical urges (especially sexual ones) be the driving force of our relationships. regardless of the level at which we relate.
Choosing to respond from a carnal level instead of a spiritual one incurs a karmic debt, which means that sooner or later we have to be on the receiving end of our carnal response. The learning cycle goes on and on until we’ve connected enough to know from our own experience that responding lovingly to every person, event, and circumstance that comes into our lives is the only way forward.
In the meantime, while we are still learning our lessons about love, we live our lives as thinking, feeling human beings, and whenever we meet someone we feel comfortable with, someone much more familiar to us than the other. people in our lives – we think we should be in love. And we LIKE to think we’re in love, because being in love is a driving force in all of us. How could we be in a position to learn the lessons we came here to learn if we are not?
That’s when the fairy tale aspect of the soulmate dilemma comes to light, and we begin to realize that romantic love isn’t always the driving force in a soulmate relationship. We come to understand that the goal is the opportunity to choose and express love and acceptance for each other, even if neither of us is who the other expected us to be.
That’s where the hardest lessons about soulmate relationships come into play. We have a decision to make, and it is not an easy decision to make. Do we let go of the ‘love of our life’, because we love him and want him to be in a relationship where he can be accepted for who he is, or do we stay in the relationship, hoping that something we do on an emotional, mental level or physique will transform them into the person we want them to be?
What’s a loving soulmate to do?
