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Health Fitness

Blanca’s – Tooting Bake Beans Recipe

Few can boast of how delicious their baked beans are and the quality of the toots they make apart from my wife Blanca’s recipe. You will love their baked beans and it will increase the quality of your toots or your money back, wait, you are not paying anything for this recipe.

The only requirement is that you say this rhyme out loud while serving the beans to your family and guests. It’s a bit strange, if you promise to do that, your baked bean dish will turn out to be delicious and a huge hit, if not, well, you’re on your own. This is an old family legend going back to the days of Captain Cook or was it Pocahontas, well she was someone who carved a niche for herself in history and was an expert at playing.

Here is the rhythm: “Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you play, the more you play, the better you feel, so eat Blanca’s baked beans at every meal.” Now it wasn’t so much fun!

Ingredients

5 different types of beans

1 large can of beans

1 large can of Spanish red beans

1 large can of kidney beans

1 large can of pinto beans

1 large can of chickpeas

1 large onion, chopped

1 large green bell pepper, chopped

2 cups of tomato sauce

3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

1 tablespoon minced garlic

¼ cup brown sugar

1 cup of molasses

Yes. powdered mustard

2 bay leaves

½ pound thickly sliced ​​bacon

Cayenne pepper to taste, we really like it, you will create a flamethrower.

Instructions:

Be sure to drain the cans of beans and rinse them. You can substitute canned beans for dried beans, but you’ll obviously need to soak them overnight before you can use them.

Using a large bowl mix all ingredients and place in a baking dish, preferably Pyrex type and cover the bean mixture with aluminum foil, place in a preheated oven at 275 degrees. Cook for five hours in the oven, uncover the aluminum foil for the last 30 minutes in the oven and serve very hot, and let it begin to toast. One option is to put ½ teaspoon of baking soda in the bean mixture to reduce the effects of the beans, but then it couldn’t really be called a “Tooting Baked Bean Recipe”, could it?

Don’t be afraid to break a little wind, let one rip, or drop one. Hey, farts are as old as life itself. When you feel like it and you’re surrounded by people you want to impress or don’t want to feel embarrassed about, here are some pet names you can use to break the ice, so to speak.

These little names have been passed down through the ages to describe simple farts. It is a way to add a little dignity to the event. When the situation arises just use the pet’s name how was that…flatulence”-this is used when you are around a group of medical students, intellectuals, university professors and wealthy doctors”blanket bomb”-a must have at sleepovers”,swag burp”– for dancers, all kinds of dancers, except in strip clubs, “bull snort”-bullfighters and most of the spectators”,cheek squeak”-librarians, and spinster teachers, “trumpet sound”-the members of the orchestra and the director, of course”,chemical warfare” military commanders, and even the Chief of Staff, of course he will not admit it, he will only say that it is classified”,killer chili”-food servers in Mexican restaurants, “crunchy frogs”-Rainforest guides and Tarzan‘duck call’-hunters and good boys chewing tobacco”,combination of farts”-fast food employees and should be executed in quick succession,”fartrogen dioxide”- chemical engineers who possibly worked on atomic projects“fickle fluff”-indecisive bartenders and policemen,” mushroom maker”-mushroom growers and bat trainers,” fire in the hole”- demolition experts and the gorkers watching, “amazing”-anyone who tries to impress someone, and then lethally messes it all up, also tabloid news commentators, “flies breaking the sound barrier”-Testpilots, and a test pilot wants to be“Foo Foo”-cooking in a Chinese restaurant”,disheveled woman” self-centered and selfish business owners,”barking orders”- professional trainers, but with the crowd screaming no one will hear anyway“Crosswind”-commercial airline pilots hoping stewardesses won’t bring them coffee at honk hour, you may have heard one pilot tell the other, quite a crosswind today, well, the secrets. “kabooms”-music singers of the fiftieslaughing gas- party guests who just can’t stop laughing, sometimes leading to repeated fartspuffs of love- disgruntled bakery employees methane magiclandfill Dozer Operator, Moonlight –hippies and stoners, morning thunderteenagers who don’t like to get up in the morning and dare you into their room, mouse squeaker –computer operators looking at everyone else trying to pass the blame, “Casual perfume”- status seekers at a social gathering, “little bit poop”- kids who can’t take the blame and point the finger at Winnie,”popcorn fart”-at least the beans were not blamed for this, prison Break-prisoners who know that this is the closest they are to getting out, “purple clouds”, tornado chasers, and people who live in straw huts, putt-putts-grannies and miniature golfers, “rectal turbulence”- people who fly thirty thousand feet or more and can’t contain themselves, rectum roar-zookeepers and lion trainers, “ripsnorter”-a redneck drinking beer with a pit bull by his side,”silent purpose violent”-someone you don’t want to be sitting with on the side of a plane, train, or car, or in church,”heavenly “perfume” priests, ministers and rabbis. There you have friends, now they use any of these pet names that fit the occasion and impress their colleges.

If there are any of you with Victorian principles and this review offends you, well, I tell you… don’t worry, be happy, laugh a lot, smile often and play where and when the need arises. Now that you know all this pet names you can be a hit at any social event and handle it eloquently if the occasion arises and you need to break the wind a bit. Playing happy.

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