This is a question many men face when contemplating purchasing an engagement ring for their fiancée. You don’t want to drop a down payment on a house, but at the same time you don’t want to appear cheap or put a price too low on the love you have for your wife. And then there are those DeBeers commercials that urge you to spend two months salary on the damn thing, that’s a sixth of your salary before taxes! So what’s a guy to do?

First thing to remember: The DeBeers commercial is just a clever marketing pitch—there’s no hard and fast rule about how much you should spend on a ring. Forget what those ads are trying to brainwash you into doing and don’t listen to all the brain dead people telling you how much you “should” spend.

This is a good rule of thumb: the ring should look beautiful with a high-quality clear diamond, but that doesn’t mean it has to be expensive. The quality and cut of the diamond is more important than the size. Buy a ring that you wouldn’t be embarrassed to see your girl in, but you don’t have to feel pressured to be fancy. Your wife will no longer love you if the ring is a few thousand more. You just need at least one high-quality diamond in an attractive setting, and the rest is just gravy. Frankly, the rest is just for materialistic bragging rights, and do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who values ​​the material cost over the idea behind the giving of the ring?

A good resource to start with is Blue Nile, a website from which you can order engagement rings. They have a great resource section that explains what makes a quality diamond and what characteristics to look for. They have a wide variety of diamonds and settings available at prices that are often much lower than what you’ll find at a local jeweler, and they can ship to you within a few days. You can find plenty of high-quality rings for under a thousand; The best deals are probably in the $1000-$2000 range, but you can definitely find some beautiful rings for decent prices.

Remember, the greatest value you can give your woman is the love you give her, not the material value of the ring.